i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
