??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
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The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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