Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
