Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
