Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
