In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
