He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
