Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
