So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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