Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Randomize
