ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize