you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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