feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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