there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
