I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
