i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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