Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
