Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize