I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
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If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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