I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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