We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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