Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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