she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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