I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
