So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
