Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
