I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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