he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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