Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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