Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
