Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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