you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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