I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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