idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
