I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize