she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
