One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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