I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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