no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
