Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
