it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
