So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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