New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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