im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
