So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
