Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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