Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
