I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So apparently I’m into choking now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
