Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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