Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
