Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
