is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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