Having a random hookup so left but love u
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
