We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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