So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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