Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
