I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
they're like a gay fantastic four
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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