end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
