yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
