six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
