She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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