What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
