Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
