i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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