Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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